Mindfulness

This post is a reflection for a course I am taking at Renison University College at the University of Waterloo. The course is titled Positive Psychology and is taught by Professor Denise Marigold, currently the Chair of Social Development Studies.

The topic of the reflection is from the course, though the response is my own.

I had heard things here and there about how it might be useful to meditate growing up, but I didn't really learn about the idea of mindfulness until about 3 years ago. Since then, I have taken some formal group classes on the topic, gone to more informal meditation sessions, read some books on the topic, and taken up some formal meditation practice on and off for the last few years.

For this article, I will start by discussing some of my experiences with mindfulness and meditation (deviating a bit from the assigned structure), and then add some more recent experiences to incorporate more of the original structure of the reflection.

I see mindfulness as a state of being, my favorite definition being by Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, the author of The Mindfulness Solution. He defines mindfulness as "awareness of your present experience with acceptance". I really like this definition because it incorporates many of the skills important for fostering mindfulness:

• Focused attention: in order to be aware of your present experience you need to be able to focus and pay attention to the small details of your present experience.
• Open monitoring/choiceless awareness: it is not enough just to be focusing on something, but mindfulness involves being open to just experiencing things as they are and being fully aware of the fullness of the experience rather than an intense focus on one aspect.
• Acceptance: you can be fully aware of your present experience, and be paying attention to the small details, but still being judging the experience or evaluating it, or maybe even wanting to change it or make it better. Mindfulness is a state of just experiencing things, and not trying to change them, and not trying to hold on to them. It requires an acknowledgement of suffering, and the changing nature of experience.

There are various kinds of practices that might emphasize one aspect more or less than the others, for example breath awareness meditation is really a practice of focused attention, and a loving kindness meditation can help with acceptance. There is nothing intrinsically requiring meditation be the way of practicing mindfulness, and I am sure you can imagine other ways you might try to foster these skills.

At various times I have played with different types of meditation practice to foster mindfulness. These have included breath awareness practice meditation, body scan meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, loving kindness meditation, mantra meditation, walking meditation, eating meditation, mindfulness meditation (really more of an open monitoring practice), and others.

I have had a quite wide range of experiences. When it was a daily habit of mine, I would have days were I was feeling quite anxious. This would make it very hard to focus if I was doing a breath awareness practice, and many times I ended up quitting mid-way through (especially if it was supposed to be longer than 15 minutes). Recently I have tried to do some progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing first to activate my parasympathetic nervous system and to relax more, because I found that helps a lot with my concentration. Even without doing that I have had some really great days and have even done 45 minute or longer meditation which definitely felt for me like a big achievement.

I think it has been really important to me the lessons I have learned from my study and practice mindfulness in relation to acceptance and non-judgement. I think that has helped me develop a deeper empathy and compassion for others, and also a deeper sense of self-compassion. By being able to better see and accept my own feelings, it has helped me to work through my challenges with depression and anxiety (not on its own but in concert).

Mindfulness can be a great way for me to ground myself when out on walks or when doing day to day tasks like putting away my laundry and can add more wonder and curiosity to everyday tasks. I find it most helpful in times of self-doubt or self-judgement, to be able to step back, observe the thoughts and feelings, and to try to accept those feelings as a starting point.